the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
