Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
