There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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