Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize