I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
