We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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