"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
