i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
He? As in you personified your dick?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
