I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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