Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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