theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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