matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
