dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
