I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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