you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
