he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize