He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
