i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Too much gin, very little bucket
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
