is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
