idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
