This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
