yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
we're making bets on your personal life
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
