He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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