It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Randomize
