My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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