you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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