In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
