I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
