I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i drank out of a bidet.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Randomize
