When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
