Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize