get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
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