HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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