are you still at the devil's house?
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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