I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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