Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
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There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
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I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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