we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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