she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
