So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
