Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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