does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize