It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
