So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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