Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Randomize
