break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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