There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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