I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
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