Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
