Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
