he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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