i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
