bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
