He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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