4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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