Where are you?
In a non slutty way
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
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I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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