he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
try to milk me bitch
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize