Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
