Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
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