so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
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