So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Randomize
