Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Randomize