i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Randomize
