your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
