haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize