My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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