when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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