Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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