Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
this will be a night to untag.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
