There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
my poor anus
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
